the sun always rises. spring always returns.

the long grass
is golden still
the branches are barren
but lovely still

winter's wind swept
the thunder of summer
into my journal
and slammed it closed

the glory of fall
it banished
to my paintings
and photographs

it's cold
but life remains
resting in those tree trunks
dancing in my
baby sister's eyes

winter may have it's moment
but I know a man
with Springtime in his blood

 

take me away

I don't want to feel it anymore
pack up my boxes
and lock my door

maybe there's a mountain
a thousand miles away
with healing in it's silence
and safety from this ache

there I could dwell
old cabin- young breeze
perhaps I could forget myself
wander thru the trees

there I will slowly
slip off to sleep
rest under mountain stone
lost in the deep

in the cave

i don't have answers
no words for the sorrow
no way to tell you of
my heartache

i was never good at lies
i can't look you in the eyes

you expect my sudden smile
my words and thoughts, running wild
you remember summer's child

my silence makes you wonder
i feel you press
you are ready for my thunder
but not my death

but i was never good at lies
i can't look you in the eyes

i'll come out of this cave,
i swear
run the pine paths
drink the air

shout my songs to shake the sky!
i will look you in the eyes

Death Comes Softly

I feel winter in the air
death comes quietly
not thunder and roar
but the soft sound
of a closing door

How could the earth keep spinning
the sun burning on?
at least the leaves have fallen
the gold and glory gone

And the sky cries
because I
cannot

The house on the side of the hill

When I grow up, I'll live in a stone house on the side of a hill, with a green door and untameable rose bushes. The path that sweeps by at the bottom of my steps will lead East to the mountains and West to the sea. Many times will my feet tread that path, off and away to new adventures and back home again.

I'll live in that house with a man who is both merry and courageous, infectious laughter and fierce in battle. He will be unafraid to live life fully and love completely. Together, we will face sorrow and loss, joy and redemption.

I will bake bread, grow tomatoes and raise my curly haired children in the sunshine.

My home will be one of peace, and my life a story of amazing grace. 

he is with me (Psalms 139)

i sit, amidst jungle blooms
i stand, on the cold pacific sand
i make my bed on the ocean floor
                         and still you are with me

you have looked me in the eyes
engulfing me

hand on my shoulder-
pavement under my feet

there is no place:
the brilliance of heaven
the expanses of earth
the deserts of hell
where i can depart from your presence

you knew me before i knew myself
you knew
that i love watercolors
gray sweaters
purple eyeliner
new pens

when the darkness is 
drownaroundsurround  
like a weighted blanket
even the blindness of nighttime will be 
as bright as day to me

for you are a light
at all times
all-encompassing
ever-renewing

your thoughts of me
are like drops of molten gold
precious- like raindrops
i catch them in my mouth

lead me down the forest trail
into the heart of the Garden

© Jim McCausland

 

poet.

three years later, I saw you again.
poet.
you were a javelin, fully flying
all at once and all alive.

I would love to love you.
in the Autumn, with your scarves
in the Winter, in your arms
Springtime, sing-time, your guitar
in the Summer, lovely summer
Ocean ~ River ~ Sky

I'll wear my sparrow earrings
you'll wear suspenders

and we'll have no money
but I think it would be fun

hit the Road

hit the road, Jack

and don't look back.

The ocean calls me

i can't resist it's insist 

pull (like the tides)

hold (on my land-locked spine)

i'll pack my socks 

in a rubbermaid bin

tie my bike on my too-small car

arcade fire on my -crackling- stereo

meander down the dawn highway

peanut butter on pita bread

(over) brewed coffee and some olives

i swear i'll find the Mountains

again

come with me.

we can squeeze into an apartment,

downtown- by the river

bake our own bread

never sleep in beds

come with me.

we'll never grow up

Capetown Dreams

Sometimes, I wish I lived by the ocean in a village. I would weave nets like my father taught me, and trade them for wheat, to grind and bake heavy, warm loaves. Flex my tired fingers, sore back, keep my eyes open. The tide would come and go, the seasons come and go: rain, storm, clear skies, gull cries. I wouldn't worry much, just when the men were out in their boats and a storm wrinkled on the horizon's forehead.

Live and breath and word hard. Walk with the black-haired fisherman boy along the coast and talk about building a house atop those foggy cliffs.

I would birth my children in saltwater and raise them in the sand. My life would pass in a shower of beautiful shades and colors, overlapping, rising and falling, until my soul went back to the deep press ocean where it began.

Sometimes I wish for a simple life.

Picture by my cousin, Jamey Pyles https://www.facebook.com/jameypylesphotography

Ocean Eyes

I love my best friend.

She is funny and strong and true-to-the-bones.

She is like a blade of sunlight, shot through water. A polar plunge that slaps me in the face and wakes me with a start.

Startling. Wise. Taking risks. Living out the gospel in each step. 

When she runs the piney trails, the wind rejoices with her,

When she climbs the rocky walls the world grows wilder and more peaceful.

When she loves someone, the trees fall and the stones split from weight of it. 

She isn't just a lover, she is a live-er.

She drinks in life with great gasping gulps as if she'll never get enough. 

Loving to learn, she lives in a constant state of transformation. 

Wisdom is all around us; she knows where to look, and when she finds it she treasures it. 

I love running with her on the mountains, city streets and at the river's side.

Everyone should have a best friends like her, but there is only one of her...so too bad.

New Gold

Once upon a time

Once upon the sand

Once I saw the newness

burst Open in my hands

have you seen the gold

On the waters of a lake?

have you stretched your soul 

so you thought it would break?

I was freckled

so were you

we ran through the trees

till the sun set

the changes have come

like the unstoppable rivers

swiftly changing scenes 

ever flowing waters

But I am not afraid

each day grows brighter

than the last

each moment braver

as I get closer to the sun

until I burst into flame

and burn with life

that never comes to an end

I'm not afraid

photo by Hope Autumn

New Mexico

Today I'm missing New Mexico. I road-tripped there in March with some of my favorite girls in the world :) 

I wrote this on our way home.


shadowed mountains on the skyline
soft morning in the Mexico Sky
dawn breaks with a rosy peach
unbrushed teeth and a hasty goodbye

the dust shimmers around me
Black coffee and Red stones
Sage, like the brush in the deserty wind
dry, like the bones under my skin

and we drive North
soon I'll hear the creek-bed chorus
from my porch
aching blue above the winding canyons
gives way to black dirt
and cloudy skies

and we drive North
the screen door slams
on my porch
the rain on my roof will find the beat
thunder on the kick-drum
Dancing Feet

home

photo by Hope Autumn

photo by Hope Autumn

photo by Hope Autumn

photo by Hope Autumn

Santiam River

We drove up out of the valley, through the mountains, listening to Coldplay.

The Santiam River. It was breathtaking. I wondered if my whole life had been a dream and I just woken up. Rivendell. Stretching above my head, the pines leaned in towards the sun. The water was clear and freezing, swiftly flowing below the moss covered boulders and enormous slabs of stone that had been sprinkled in the river by a giant's hand. The sun was bright and warm, but not warm enough to heat the glacial water that shivered my bones and shocked my lungs as I jumped in. How alive were the ferns that curled beneath my dripping feet and the moss that covered the stepping stones to heaven. How young we were when we climbed the rock walls and let the rapids carry us under. How old when we crept inside the cave and listened to the waterfalls SING sing sing about the many ages it had seen. How timeless, that river, it knows no sorrow. Only rocks and swift thoughts of every changing landscape and ever-passing time. Every moment was a lifetime, I felt the Earth's heartbeat all around me. Life pulsed inside me. We jumped from the cliffs; we flew. Poised on the edge, muscles waiting. Throw yourself forward. Falling. Flying. Waiting. Air rushes around you.
Splash.
Underwater, coldwater, heavywater, kicking to the surface.
The danger thrilled us and we laughed until we fell down on the forest floor and the sun danced in the corners of our eyes. 

Somedays...you taste heaven.

Photo by my cousin- Jamey Pyles (https://www.facebook.com/jameypylesphotography)

8/4/12

saltwater drops
sorrow abysmal
fissures in the sand
where they land

child.

my arms are infinite
each fiber - a lifetime
landscapes and seas
in my bones

don't tell Me
that you are out of reach

photo by Hope Autumn

Revisiting Seattle

bittersweet
Seattle streets
familiar pavement
on my feet

do you remember?

our hearts:
breathing/beating
burnished/sweeping
bound as one
with salty strands
when the forest
joined our hands

don't forget

the day you took
your first steps
(pine needles underfoot)

your lungs expanded-
first breath
(sea mist surrounding)

the first day of
that relentlessly new
sharply shining
brightly worthy
adven-journey

For Frederick, Eli, Faraji, Cody, David, John, Ariana, Allie, Jenny, Sabrina, and Hope.