Nightmare

I walked into the room 

And it was my sister 

on the breathing machine 

I couldn’t fix her

I tried everything. 

It was my sister in my dream 

Balloon

Fear is a balloon

Inflating inside my chest 

Pressing on the inside of my ribs 

It’s hard to take a breath 

It’s hard to think of missing you

Multiply

Kiss my lover in the bedroom 

Kiss a stranger in the street 

I fall in love a little 

with everyone I meet 

They say I’m giving it away 

but 

thats a lie

My love just multiplies 

mother//lover

Men are like children

When they come to us 

Letting their strength fall of their shoulders 

Roll down their backs

And drop, softly, to the floor

We hold and caress 

We fill and nourish 

We are the mother and the lover 

Giver of all things sweet 

The silent years

I should’ve know 

When the river dried up 

To a crippled creek 

And then to a trickle 

I should’ve know 

when the poetry stopped

My wings kept beating 

But didn’t make a sound 

Like the noise was sucked out 

of the air 

And there I was 

Silenced 

I should’ve know 

That when I left him 

The dams would burst 

The wind would howl 

And I would write again 

Morning

Morning love 

The sky is pink 

Clambering out of the shower 

And into your arms 

Morning love

Your skin is warm 

It soaks away the coldness of night 

& it melts away the darkness in me 

Nightwatch

I’m pacing in white halls 

under the dim lights 

cold AC & goosebumps  

I am padding silently,

in and out of rooms 

With a flutter of the curtain 

The hours slide by. 

And I keep vigil,  

watching the hearts on my screen 

as they keep marching on 

Fight/Flight

Faced with danger,

I wanted to run

(And that I won’t judge) 

It’s in my blood 

to be the one 

who lives 

Faced with danger 

I wanted to fight 

my hand on his throat and I 

scream out the lights 

It’s in my blood 

to boil 

The genes that carry 

(on & on)

are the ones that grit their teeth,

that plant their feet, 

that do what must be done.  

Whether fight or run

The genes that carry

carry a will to live 

Homecoming pt 2

Blood is thicker than water 

And the water is from the Willamette

Salt air and pine air 

Lifting me up

My toes skidding the ground

Hiking my way through my mother’s regret

Working my way through the promises left 

And Oregon feels like coming home 

Jar of roses

I’m coming down the stairs

With a yawn

And see pink roses in a jar

Stolen from the neighbors lawn 

On your morning run 

How can I explain

The way I feel loved by you 

Every time I’m reaching out 

You come to meet me 

You have never turned your head 

Homecoming pt 1

I smell like dirt 

And horse sweat

Working my way through my mother’s regret 

Riding my way through the promises left 

And horseback feels like coming home 

The Well

Love like a deep deep well

That I tripped and fell

Into

Love that I no longer choose

Love that rips me in two 

And I’d do anything for you 

A moment, an eternity

Leaves shimmer overhead 

Etched on the inside of my eyelids 

I can land lightly 

I can dip down 

Face underwater 

Sing underwater 

Drinking in water 

River quartz crown 

Water on rocks, 

The sound in my head, 

Rippling through roots

And suspended, in moments,

As droplets, glowing 

Resting on leaves in the dusk 

The cup pt. 2

The cup

It’s chipped 

With pinked painted rosebuds

And twisting vines 

A teacup 

Tastes like lemon and honey 

Steeped together 

Warm and fragrant

Wafting upwards 

Curling beneath your nose

Take a sip

Of bitter and sweet

Soothing your throat 

a sigh from your lips 

Bringing you closer 

To that softly glowing core 

That ember 

The knowing 

The steeping and sinking 

The grounding and growing 

The being 

The being human

The sitting in silence 

drinking the joy & the grief 

Eden

I know that love has to change. 

Even the kind that takes your breath away

But I guess deep inside me 

I always hoped

We would find our way back 

Back to Eden, 

In muggy Missouri woods, 

Under bridges,

Broken bottles 

On railroad tracks

Spilling blood and wine 

I know we paint the past with 

Sunset hues 

But I swear

She saw me 

She knew me 

She loved me 

Unlike anyone 

My brain was growing 

Bursting at the seams 

She opened my eyes 

To the joy and the grief

And we wrote poetry 

I couldn’t be who I am

Without her taking my hand 

And telling me 

To ask a million questions

To scream and sword fight 

With the trees 

Wasn’t it magic? 

Two broke kids 

With ripped jeans 

And Arizona teas 

Driving across the United States 

And now she fell in love 

She’s moving away

It’s the kind of love that has to change 

And as I watch her walk out the door 

And kiss her lover 

Smiling in the sun

I know we’re back in Eden 

Dust to dust

The raw edge of grief 

It cuts like a blade 

And I catch glimpses of it all the time, 

Almost out of sight 

But it’s burgeoning at the walls 

That bend out to touch me 

Almost 

It’s crawling under my skin 

Settling in the back of my throat 

Tasting like iron and salt

It might be over soon

We slave to create this, 

Law and Order, 

But 

The ocean is impartial 

Knows no mercy 

Has no qualms 

In its quells, rushing into your nostrils 

Taking your breath 

The earth will swallow you

Swallow us 

Don’t pretend you are different 

Dirt children, seedlings, 

Dust to dust 

Joy and Grief 

We walk together 

Move over, make room for yourself

Everything is poetry 

Deepening down 

Softer, fuller, swelling now 

My eyes are opening 

Shifting around

I think I’ll make space for you 

Not crowd you down 

I’ll hear you out

Once silenced, 

Speaking now 

My eyes are opening 

And it’s poetry 

The cup

Life is sweet,
It’s brief,
Tastes like grief
Swims with joy.

Let me drink the cup,
I will not turn my head