Sorry

the lies burn like a coals
beneath my ribs
hot and unsettling
unsteady breath

just months ago
I had fragile skin
you could hear my heart beat
when I walked in

where did I lose my trust?
in the sand pits
in the darkness
in the moments
where the ones I believed
called me a rebel
runaway
thief

time eroding
wearing me thick

like snail shells
and tree rings
circularly widening
trap the pain inside of me

burning core-
like earth's center
I'm a building
collapsing inward
internalized arrows
eternalized puncture

I don't want to crush you
in the rubble
I don't want to burn you
in the fire

but my pretense
cuts like a blade of ice
shrapnel and stinging tears
I never meant to lock you out
I never meant to swallow fear

And I'm sorry.