Carry

I take you with me when I go

In my car

In the rain

On the way home 

I cry for you when I go 

I feel the weight of your grief 

And the burden of your pain 

I pray for you in the shower 

To a god who shouldn’t let such things happen

And I can only hope to believe 

In life beyond 

The one that has been robbed from you 

I carry you

I carry you with me 

A new moon in Cancer

I feel it,
I feel it all

It’s my blessing
And my curse

The movement of tides
The phases of the moon
The rise and fall
Of your chest

The atoms spinning
in an electric dance
The planets spinning
in an electric dance

Within me
Without me

My skin does not separate

Me from the world

I feel it all

Judas

I know that you met Judas
for you held him in your arms
I know the things he told you
made you question your own heart

I know the ways you've written
all your fears out on your arms
and I know they didn't catch you
when you fell

It's hard not to feel helpless
watching from the shore
your sister got so angry
she drove up to their door

and it's just sad because we both know
that we've been here before

You're not a project
Not a sinner
Not a rebel on the move

You're just a friend,
and with a friend,
you've nothing to prove

everyday magic

Goodbye kisses at 6am
leaving the house while it's still dark

texting a red heart
and a "miss u already"

embracing in the parking lot
like we haven't seen each other in weeks

side by side on the treadmills
feet pounding in time

hand in hand in the produce aisle
picking the perfect avocado

slow dancing in the kitchen
while the onions and garlic dance too

stealing kisses in the soap suds
elbow deep in dishes

these moments may seem mundane
like just another,
just another,
another day

but,
its nothing short of magic
breathtaking, jaw dropping,
show stopping magic
the privelege and pleasure
of being with you

siren

whiskey on ice in a crowded room,
I'm eyeing the exits
and wondering

what dark magic is
this magnetism
drawing me,
moth to a flame

a current, electric,
singing too low to be heard,
but I feel it
vibrating in my bones

it's a heart-stopping head rush
when I touch her hand
my heart in my mouth and I'm stumbling
for words

I hear myself telling her
of oceans I've seen in her eyes

I can't run
even if I tried
even if I wanted to

and I swear,
she must be a siren
calling me overboard,
drink her till I drown

comfort

when I come home
with dark mascara streaks
down my cheeks
and say I need to be alone

he nods and
starts the kettle
and the laundry
and an episode of Friends

and I come down
to sit quietly by the fire
that glows in his chest
and gently
he warms me

I know that I am stunning
because your breath catches
every time you see me

your fingers hesitate
and eyes ask me
if it's okay to touch

it's okay